You are all trying to get me killed!!!!

Why????

What did your ever-faithful lovable
hairball furrball of joy and goodwill ever do to deserve this asassination of my character and endure tortuous slow death by spins?

Well-crafted bogue emails... OMG.... it's the work of pros, I tell you. OF PROS!!!

OMG... I'm bein' framed...
Everyone!!!
...shut up...
please? 