I'm not going to jump on the band wagon of the know-alls. It sounds very likely that you are having some intermittent electrical issues on your starting system. I can assure everyone here, that I have experienced this frustration across all types of mechanized transportation, to include airplanes.
Solenoids can be a real pain to troubleshoot because the contacts burn and they "don't work" on random occasions. Starter motors can also have intermittent failures (in the old days, remember whacking with a hammer?)
Solenoids (relays) are relatively cheap and are a known item to fail. Wiring and connections are also a known intermittent fail item. All these things can drive one crazy trying to diagnose, especially an amateur.
I haven't been involved in the long thread, but using a volt meter on 12v circuits often can give false info. Use something that can draw current, like an incandescent test light or the LOADpro test leads:
https://www.esitest.com/P/142/180LOADproDynamicTestLeadsAlso, physically tug on small wires.....and also, just toss a master disconnect solenoid (relay) and a starter relay at it. They are relatively cheap, and do fail intermittently. And guys that turned wrenches for a living know that come-backs are a big no-no. Sometimes ya just gotta shotgun it a little bit.